Day 5 and then some deep thoughts...

Well, today started out with a bang. I didn't wake up until I got this text from my sister saying "TGIFF!" I picked up the phone, glanced at her text and thought "OMG!!! Today is Friday!!!" When my alarm went off this morning, I pushed the snooze button thinking to myself "Eh, the gym doesn't open until later today, I'll just go later." I had it in my head that today was Saturday. I'm not sure why I thought that...I just did. I glanced at the clock: 7:58AM I shot out of bed, brushed my teeth, fluffed my hair, threw on my clothes and ran out the door. I arrived at work at 8:10 and glided into the first patient room as if nothing had even happened.

Now, I didn't get breakfast so I started my day at 930AM with some oatmeal and protein powder. Here we are, at 823PM and my totals are good. I ate clean, no cheats. I haven't gotten my workout in yet, but will go downstairs as soon as I finish this and get it in there.

Considering how well I ate today, I can't, for the life of me, figure out why I feel so damned bloated and well, fat. Yes, I know I say that all the time, but today I really mean it. Oh well, I plug on.

Total: 1375 cals
Fat: 21g (15%)
Carbs: 123g (35%)
Protein: 159g (50%)

I wanted to share something with all of you. My cousin is 1 year older than I am. She lives in Germany and I am closer with her than my sister. We share everything with each other. Yahoo is a great invention, as is txt messaging. We communicate all the time that way. Well, my cousin is really sad right now. See, (this is gonna be long) when she and her ex boyfriend broke up (she was happy about it) she started talking to some people online. She started talking to several men from around Germany. One in particular really took a liking to her. He'd call her 2 or 3 times every day and just talk to her. He sent her Christmas presents, birthday presents and well, just presents because he liked her. This has been going on since at least December, possibly a bit before. She liked the fact that he never had been married, no kids, owned his own house, etc. I never met him but she seemed to like him and that was enough for me.

Last week, this man suddenly stopped calling her. After several days of no phone calls, my cousin got suspicious. She contacted a mutual friend and told this friend to go over and see what was happening. Well, turns out this guy had a ruptured brain aneursym and had been laying on his floor in his house for 6 days. They got him to the hospital and he died the next morning. I'm surprised he lived for 6 days. So, needless-to-say, my cousin is upset. I tried to tell her that most people who have a ruptured brain aneursym die suddenly. There really isn't any warning. She said she knew she couldn't do anything of that nature, but she's more upset that she didn't call someone sooner...that her friend laid there for 6 days suffering. His parents are both dead and his sister lives far away. Didn't he have any friends that lived near him?? Didn't he have a job where someone would have missed him after 6 days??

All of this has made me start to think. I live alone. My family live in Georgia, Alabama and Germany. I have very few friends. If something would happen to me right now, no one would know until Monday when I wouldn't show up to work. I was talking to several people about this today. One said, if I didn't have my wife, no one would ever find me and the other said, no one would probably even notice for 4 or 5 days...even from his work.

This disturbs me. I don't want to die alone. First, I'm really not ready to die and second, I don't want to die alone. I know, I'm only 38. Why would I think about dying? You never know what can happen to you. When I was dating my last ex boyfriend, a lady from his church also died from an aneursym. She was about 38, she had 3 kids and a husband. *Poof* Gone...no warning. This male friend of my cousin's, he was 45. *Poof* Gone....no warning. I can't help but think, what was he thinking, if anything, while he laid there all alone. I don't know what I can do about this situation. I dont WANT to be single, alone. But, I'm also not going to run out and grab just anyone so I won't be alone.

Blah, I'm sorry for carrying on about this. I'm thankful for all you cyberfriends that I do have, the ones Ive met, will meet and even will never meet. Thanks for keeping me company so that I'm never alone. It really means a lot.

9.5mph!

So, did my 20 minute HIIT this am and did an all new high point for me at 9.5mph! I promptly almost puked as it came to cool down. Then did abs again from the cruise. My abs are super sore!

Eating was pretty good...until like 545pm when I ate...yep, chocolate! Things at work are driving me crazy. Coming home at 630-7pm everyday sucks and I hate it. I hate hearing people bitch all the time "she doesnt help me....she doesnt LET me help her..." blah blah blah blah blah! Get over it and just freaking work together, will ya?!?! I can't wait until they find someone to take back over. I don't want the headache.

I cant even put in my fitday totals cos I have no clue how many of those mini little chocolate bars I ate.....too many, I can' tell you that!

Anyway, again, at least the workout was awesome. Tomorrow will be better, I can feel it!!!

Day 3

Total: 2009 cals
Fat: 49g (22%)
Carbs: 191g (37%)
Protein: 199g (40%)

I suck! I can't even get through a whole week without blowing it. Blah! At least my workout was good and my quads/abs are sore. On to tomorrow!!!

Enough said.

Day 2

So far, so good. Had a good HIIT this morning with a high point of 9.3mph on treadmill and 2.05 total miles in 19 minutes. Felt good and no pain. Then did a crapload of ab stuff that I learned from Donna Szabo from the cruise.

Eating went well, although I did eat some lettuce with strawberries that wasn't planned. It turned out okay though. Here are my totals for the day. Remember, JUST FOR TODAY!!!

Total: 1350 cals
Fat: 23g (16%)
Carbs: 137g (37%)
Protein: 154g (47%)

On to Day 3...

And so, it begins...

Day 1 of 84

Today went almost just as planned. The only thing that happened that wasnt really mapped out was 1) I grabbed the betagen instead of my soy shake mix for my snacks and 2) I was so stinking busy at work that I didn't get my 2nd snach in until 430pm instead of 330pm. I replaced the soy shake for a regular myoplex lite shake, so no biggie. And since I didn't have time to make my 2nd snack shake, I ate a carb control bar. All-in-all, not too bad

Workout this morning was good. I started out drinking my betagen. I took my CLA and Thermodynamx (decided to use the CLA up for now) and then did my UBWO. I thought I was gonna puke because my CLA capsule popped in my mouth and the oil drained out of it. I was nauseated throughout my entire workout!

My fracture bothered me some, but not to any great extent. I'm happy the day is almost done. The only thing I could have done better was I didn't get all my water in. I am still working on it. I think by the time I go to bed, I'll have 3 L done, instead of my normal 4! OK, well progress...

Total: 1377 calories
Fat: 23g (15%)
Carbs: 131g (36%)
Protein: 167g (49%)

On to day 2....

OMG!!!

OK, so I've retaken my photos and posted them below. They are a bit small but OMG, I can't believe what happens to your body after 3 weeks of no workouts! It's terrible! I feel like a fat cow. Look at the overhang on my kini on the back and side view! YIKES! Desperate times call for desperate measures!!! Tomorrow is my new Challenge. I will not get injured and I know in about 3 weeks things will be back to where they were....I hope! Oh and I just realized you can click on the actual photos and they come up to normal size.

Here are my beginning stats followed by my stats at the end of my last challenge in ( ).

wt: 143 (138)
bf: 20.5% (18.5%) both done with the navy website
waist: 28" (26.5")
hips: 36.5" (36.25")
thigh: 22.75" (22.15")
calf: 14" (13.5")

So, there is some difference, but I think 2 or 3 weeks of hard workouts as well as clean eating will put that all back where it belongs. Special thanks to Suzanne (suz2lose), Dana, Kevin and Tracy J for keeping me well motivated to continue through this.

Suz and I are running a 5K on August 12 in a little town next to Des Moines. She's gonna blow away her 5K time and it's gonna rock!!! We are also hitting a challenge super hard tomorrow. In 4 weeks, we are gonna be HOT! In 8 weeks, we are gonna be HOTTER and in 12 weeks, watch out. We are setting things on fire...can you say SMOKING?!?!?!

Remember, NEVER GIVE UP!!!!

OMG!!!

OK CASEY, here's your update....

So, the folks left today. Its really quiet here in the house. My fracture seems to be feeling okay, although the xray today really doesn't show much healing going on. I'm really tired.

With all that said, I'm officially starting my challenge over on Monday. I debated about just continuing, but I don't think I can get in the results I want to get it with only 56 days left to finish. So, on Monday, I'll restart and hit it hard. I know I can get this done the way I want. What this means is I'll be finishing up the weekend we go to Knoxville. I can't see anything better than that! The last few weeks of not working out at all and then the last week of having my parents here have really taken a toll on me. My parents and I did work out on Tuesday and Wednesday, but that was about it. I'm so ready to get things back to normal.

Anyway, Im not changing goals or anything like that, so I'll relist them here:

1) Get to 13-15% body fat
2) Lean out legs more and get more definition
3) More upper body definition
4) Eat clean
5) Miss NO workouts
6) Win this Challenge!!! Oh yeah, I said it!!!

So, with all of that said, I'm gonna hit this like NO other come Monday morning. No one better try to get in my way, cos I'll take them out if they do!!!

Otherwise, things are all the same. I'm going to the KC gathering but will workout and eat healthy while there. I know Casey and Lori will understand that! Thank you to everyone for their continued support and advice. It is always appreciated!!

Weekend update

OK, so here its technically my free day, although I wasn't really going to take one. Since I've not bee able to work out during the last 2 weeks due to my fractured sacrum, I've been really trying to watch the diet. My parents came on Friday and we've actually done really well...until today! Man, we had a cookie fest at about 4pm. But ya know, I think thats okay. It will keep me honest until next week now and considering they've never come seen me, EVER, since I moved away, I don't really feel that guilty about it.

I weighed this morning and I'm 139.4, so I'm happy with that. With 2 weeks of no exercise, holding steady is a plus. I think I will try some stuff this week and see how it goes. I'll let everyone know.

Remember the use of daily Mantras. I am thinking "Just for today" everyday and I think it really helps. Just for today, I will relax just a bit and have fun with my parents. Tomorrow is another day and we'll be right on!!!

More updates later....

Daily Mantra

As this past week finally ended, I looked back and thought "Thank God!!" I hope the next week can be better. Then I remembered a recent email to me from a good friend, Wes Eugene, about his daily Mantra during his first 12 week challenge:

"Just for today, I will eat clean. Just for today, I will work out. Just for today!"

He went on to say to me, "Just for today, be a perfect Body-for-Lifer! Just for today, be an “A” student in Bill Phillip’s class!"

So, instead of me thinking "damn, this week...'x'"...I'm starting to think,just today. Worry about today and not tomorrow, or yesterday. Just today!

Yesterday I had one of the worst blow out eat-for-alls in a long time. I ate so much chocolate, I thought I was going to puke. That was yesterday.

Today, was amazing. My eating today...100% dead perfect clean! I didn't work out and may still not workout until the start of next week. My sacrum is feeling better but still painful to go from sitting to standing, especially getting out of my car, but it definately is incredibly better! YAY, I'm mending!!

So, to anyone having a bad time, create your own Mantra and refer back to Wes' thought of just for today, do your very best. Today will become tomorrow, and then tomorrow will become the next. But, just concentrate on the day at hand...on the meal at hand, and go from there.

Feel free to use my Mantra.....

Remember, NEVER GIVE UP!!!! We can all do this!!

PS: If you don't know who Wes Eugene is...keep your eyes and ears open. I think we will all hear his name a lot in the near future. Thanks Wes! You're the best!

End of Week 2....already!!!

OK, so here's my update. I've been in so much pain over the course of a week, it's not funny!! From Monday until Saturday, I have slept MAYBE a total of 9 hrs scattered throughout those days. I even got some Vicodin from one of the docs I work with, but it did absolutely NOTHING.

Yesterday, I had to strip the sheets off the guest bed because my parents are coming at the end of this week to visit. I have to get this place into shape!! As I was pulling on a sheet, I heard CRUNCHHHHHH!!! OWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwww!!!! Wow, that hurt! But then, the pain got much better! I thought, hmmmmm, maybe I can get some sleep. So, I laid down and went to sleep from about 1040am-430pm. When I woke up, it still felt pretty good. I slept all night last night and today, its still feeling okay. So, I think my muscles must have pulled the broken piece back into place and off of a nerve. THANK GOD!!! I am being extremely careful so that it won't get pushed back out of place.

Since the injury, I have only done UBWO on Wednesday, so no workouts on Tuesday, Thurs-Sat. I was reminded by my good friend, Kenny Fernandez, that 75% of this is eating clean so I've taken this unfortunate opportunity to really concentrate on eating clean this week. I'd rate eating for the week at about 90%. So, not too bad!! Thats with the holiday also! So, on to next week. I don't know if I'll actually do workouts this week or not, just depends on how I feel. I may just do UBWO and try some walking but I'd rather just not do anything and eat right than have this stupid piece pull back out of place.

Just remember my mantra: Remember, NEVER GIVE UP!!!! And, believe me, I'm not. I will make my 13-15% BF at the end of this 12 weeks, and when you people see me in TN, you'll all be proud of me!!!!

Thank Goodness, its Friday

I couldn't take another day at work. I'm on call this weekend,but I just can't stand up for another 8 hours. Thanks everyone for sending me well wishes. You just can't believe how much pain a stupid freaking broken bone can cause!! I finally got some pain meds but havent taken any yet. I keep feeling this stupid bone crunch around in my low pelvis and I swear it catches occasionally!!!

My eating today has been fine. No cheats!! YAY me! However, my stomach is so bloated from this injury. Its your body's normal mechanism to slow everything down when you have a vertebral injury (the sacrum is part of your vertebral column)so I look like one of those Ethiopian children at the moment!!! I'm not a good sick person, but I try not to whine that much.

I didnt work out today. I decided just to take the rest of the week off, including tomorrow's HIIT. I'm just going to eat clean and see how I feel on Monday. I was chatting with Kenny Fernandez and he reminded me how 75-80% of all of this is diet. So, with that said, since I'm refraining from workouts for a few days at least, I *HAVE* to eat clean and really watch it. Maybe this is some sign that is going to help me get the diet under control so that when I get the workouts going again, things will just happen like magic! HA! We'll see at least!

Anyway, nothing else really to talk about today. My parents are driving up next weekend and spending a week with me. I already got them a week's pass at the local gym, if they so desire. They were away in Alabama for a few days visiting my sister but I checked their fitday journal and have already restarted logging their food in. Great job, Mom and Dad! I can't express how much I'm proud of them!

Injury Update

So, I got xrayed today and turns out I didn't break my tailbone, but instead fractured my sacrum. For those of you who aren't familiar with anatomy, the tailbone (coccyx) is the end portion of your spine and the sacrum is the bone above that. Yup, broken..snapped...fractured!!! YEOUCH! Also, right groin strain. I'm kinda glad it's broken cos I certainly didn't want to think I was a wimp without something being wrong cos this MF HURTS!!!! Nothing to do about it but let it heal...4-6 weeks time. Spoke to a friend of mine and he said there's no reason why I can't work out. That area is stable enough that it shouldnt cause problems. I may take Friday's LBWO off just to let the groin feel a bit better. We'll see. It's already better today than yesterday. I had a helluva time doing my UBWO this morning cos I had to lay on my side first and then roll over onto my back to do my bench workouts. But, I did it.

Today's eating day was dead on. No cheating at all, perfectly clean and exactly what I planned. Now, on to tomorrow....

Challenge Update

OK, so this is my 2nd week already. My first week went okay. I like to rate things to see how I've done. My workouts over the last 1.5 weeks have been spot on..so I'll give them a grade of 95%. I did a lot of new lower body exercises that I learned on the cruise and was sooo sore last week from Wednesday to SUnday from doing it. Its a great feeling to have difficulties getting up and down from the toilet seat! It's been a long time since I felt that way!! From a HIIT point, I love doing this so it always seems to go pretty well. My high point, level 10 at the moment, is 9.3mph on the treadmill.

Now, eating...thats my biggest problem. Last week, I ate perfect..up until about 2pm. Thats when I tend to get cravings and I blow it. 2 or 3 times last week, I screwed up by eating a cookie. We arent talking about little tiny cookies, but pretty good sized cookies. Well,Lori gave me a way to avoid doing this. She told me, everytime she got a craving and was about to cheat, she imagined that the dirtiest, nastiest person she could think of made the food she was about to consume. I've tried that out since then and it seems to helpl I've eaten clean since Friday, although Tracy J. said i cheated cos I ate an apple yesterday. I wouldn't technically call it a cheat, I just didn't couple it with a protein cos I was in a hurry to get to the hospital. But, she's right in the way that it wasn't a complete meal and it wasn't really planned. So, I'll agree and call it a cheat. Dang, she's strict!!

Today, being a holiday, I've tried to do well. It would have been perfect because I'm alone and had no plans to go do anything until my friends called me last night and asked me to come golf 18 holes with them this morning. It started out well with my eating proatmeal, and then a bar while out on the course. They were drinking alcohol, but I refrained and drank my water. Good for me. We took a cart (sorry) but if you play as badly as I do, you'd be driving too. Anyway, we got back to my friend's house and she grilled me a piece of salmon and had a plain lettuce salad with just a drizzle of lo fat lo carb balsalmic vinegrette dressing. I thought yeah, I'm doing awesome! But then, she brought out the chips. NOOOOooo, not the chips! I think I must have eaten 1/2 a bag!!! Blah! I don't know why I have such difficulties getting over my binging. I'm not depressed, stressed or anything. I just taste something and then want tons of it. If I don't taste it, I'm good. But, as soon as I eat it, thats it...I need ALL of it. I guess part of my goals this challenge is to figure out why I do this and correct that. I don't need to binge. It doesnt make me feel better about anything. It always makes me feel worse and feel like a failure. Eating Rating for the past 1.5 weeks: 78-80%

Oh, and to make matters worse. Yesterday, I went back to the gym (I did LBWO at 515am) after work around 2pm to do some extra cardio...just walking on the treadmill for 1/2 hr using incline ranging from 5-11. OK, so my headphone plug in didn't work, so I put the treadmill I was on, on pause and walked across a few to find a working plugin. When I did, I walked back across to the original treadmill to gather my belongings. I stepped on the treadmill, however, it was no longer on pause...it was moving at 4.5 mph and so I got flung off of it. I hit the end of the treadmill on my low back/butt and then landed on the floor. I think I broke something (like my tailbone!!) cos it certainly hurts like **** to sit down and I strained my right groin. I had a hard time this morning lifting my leg to put in my shorts. OUCH! I had to sit on a cushion in the golf cart. I will not let this slow me down, but dang, it hurts!!

OK, so if you are still reading this: I *promise* you, I *promise* my buddy, I *promise* my drill sargeant Tracy and I *promise* myself: I will finish this challenge better than I started. I will not cheat any more and I will get to 13% BF like I stated!!!

Thanks for listening!

Update

OK, so its been a week. I'm going to rate how I did this week:

Workouts: 95%
I did all my workouts and my LBWO this week was amazing! I put together a new routine, much of what I learned on the cruise from Donna Szabo, Fred Clement and Mikko Manner. Those 1 legged lunges and 1 legged deadlifts blew my ass away!! I've been sore since Wednesday afternoon and its just now starting to get better. I've not felt this way since really starting BFL back in 2002. Its actually a great feeling to have difficulties sitting and getting back off the toilet! OH YEAH!!

Eating: 75%
Well, I started out clean every day but there were 2 or 3 days where at about 2pm I started in with the cravings and ate some cookies. I think I've gotten it out of my system and the last 2 days have been good. I'm glad its a holiday coming up and I have nowhere to go, so the clean streak should continue.

I'll post some cruise pics soon. I dont really have that many since my batteries kept dying in my camera and I wasn't smart enough to well, JUST GO BUY NEW BATTERIES!!! Duh!!!