Well, today started out with a bang. I didn't wake up until I got this text from my sister saying "TGIFF!" I picked up the phone, glanced at her text and thought "OMG!!! Today is Friday!!!" When my alarm went off this morning, I pushed the snooze button thinking to myself "Eh, the gym doesn't open until later today, I'll just go later." I had it in my head that today was Saturday. I'm not sure why I thought that...I just did. I glanced at the clock: 7:58AM I shot out of bed, brushed my teeth, fluffed my hair, threw on my clothes and ran out the door. I arrived at work at 8:10 and glided into the first patient room as if nothing had even happened.
Now, I didn't get breakfast so I started my day at 930AM with some oatmeal and protein powder. Here we are, at 823PM and my totals are good. I ate clean, no cheats. I haven't gotten my workout in yet, but will go downstairs as soon as I finish this and get it in there.
Considering how well I ate today, I can't, for the life of me, figure out why I feel so damned bloated and well, fat. Yes, I know I say that all the time, but today I really mean it. Oh well, I plug on.
Total: 1375 cals
Fat: 21g (15%)
Carbs: 123g (35%)
Protein: 159g (50%)
I wanted to share something with all of you. My cousin is 1 year older than I am. She lives in Germany and I am closer with her than my sister. We share everything with each other. Yahoo is a great invention, as is txt messaging. We communicate all the time that way. Well, my cousin is really sad right now. See, (this is gonna be long) when she and her ex boyfriend broke up (she was happy about it) she started talking to some people online. She started talking to several men from around Germany. One in particular really took a liking to her. He'd call her 2 or 3 times every day and just talk to her. He sent her Christmas presents, birthday presents and well, just presents because he liked her. This has been going on since at least December, possibly a bit before. She liked the fact that he never had been married, no kids, owned his own house, etc. I never met him but she seemed to like him and that was enough for me.
Last week, this man suddenly stopped calling her. After several days of no phone calls, my cousin got suspicious. She contacted a mutual friend and told this friend to go over and see what was happening. Well, turns out this guy had a ruptured brain aneursym and had been laying on his floor in his house for 6 days. They got him to the hospital and he died the next morning. I'm surprised he lived for 6 days. So, needless-to-say, my cousin is upset. I tried to tell her that most people who have a ruptured brain aneursym die suddenly. There really isn't any warning. She said she knew she couldn't do anything of that nature, but she's more upset that she didn't call someone sooner...that her friend laid there for 6 days suffering. His parents are both dead and his sister lives far away. Didn't he have any friends that lived near him?? Didn't he have a job where someone would have missed him after 6 days??
All of this has made me start to think. I live alone. My family live in Georgia, Alabama and Germany. I have very few friends. If something would happen to me right now, no one would know until Monday when I wouldn't show up to work. I was talking to several people about this today. One said, if I didn't have my wife, no one would ever find me and the other said, no one would probably even notice for 4 or 5 days...even from his work.
This disturbs me. I don't want to die alone. First, I'm really not ready to die and second, I don't want to die alone. I know, I'm only 38. Why would I think about dying? You never know what can happen to you. When I was dating my last ex boyfriend, a lady from his church also died from an aneursym. She was about 38, she had 3 kids and a husband. *Poof* Gone...no warning. This male friend of my cousin's, he was 45. *Poof* Gone....no warning. I can't help but think, what was he thinking, if anything, while he laid there all alone. I don't know what I can do about this situation. I dont WANT to be single, alone. But, I'm also not going to run out and grab just anyone so I won't be alone.
Blah, I'm sorry for carrying on about this. I'm thankful for all you cyberfriends that I do have, the ones Ive met, will meet and even will never meet. Thanks for keeping me company so that I'm never alone. It really means a lot.
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5 comments:
Well the next time you go a day without posting...I'm calling you.
Sorry to hear this news. That is so terrible. I hope your cousin gets through this ok.
Lori
Awwww, Suz! I know I think about dying sometimes and how sad it would be for my kids if I just was *poof* gone all of a sudden. But when its your time, its your time, God will take you regardless. The only things we can do is make the most of the time here. Its not morbid, its human, especially when we see a situation firsthand like that. My heart goes out to your cousin, that is rough!!
Just beause you live alone dosen't mean you'll die alone, and I think theres a good chance I could die alone, even thoguh I have people around all the time, I could be by myself and get in a wreck or something. It will be the way its ment to be. Chin up, we love ya, girlie!!
I'm so sorry for your cousin...that story is heartbreaking. please tell her she has prayers coming her way!!
as for you, don't worry about living alone because it won't be forever. God is in control and has your perfect man waiting to meet you. all in His timing!!
love you!! hugs!!! :)
ohh sorry to hear that news. Hope your cousin is doing okay.
I know how you feel... We just worked a natural death of a 44 year old man... I drove around the rest of the day thinking about dying... Not a nice thought!!!! Live each day to it's fullest and have fun!!!
Casey
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